My apology to the housecleaning fairy

Dear _________,

I am soooooo sorry my house is a mess, it’s been a crazy couple of weeks. Anyway, thanks for coming on such short notice, I really appreciate it. (you can leave the key under the black mat by the side door)

Love, Nicole

Seriously? (note to self: you say seriously too much. Seriously.) Who does this? Apologize for a messy house? Tell the housecleaning fairy you love her? What’s wrong with me?

This is the bottom of my hand-written (on personalized, even monogrammed, heavy stock stationery) apology note to the Housecleaning Fairy. I obviously have two problems: keeping a clean house and an obession with fine writing materials. (note to self: you say obviously too much. Obviously.)

I really do love the Fairy. I really appreciate her and I’m extremely grateful for her too.

When she works her magic and the house is spotless, you can see your reflection in the stainless steel sinks, perform (and pass) a white glove test on all the furniture, and the smell is absolutely the best. It’s the kind of smell that only comes after a wonderful Fairy has swept, mopped, polished and dusted her way through your hideous mess you call home.

My house hasn’t been cleaned since the last time she was here. That was seven (gasp!) weeks ago.

I’m appalled. I’m embarrassed. I’m disappointed in myself. I’m supposed to work harder at keeping the house cleaner. I think my Mom calls this “maintaining” your house? I’m supposed to do more laundry through the week, instead of letting it pile into huge mounds to be tackled on the weekend. I’m supposed to clean the kitchen every night before going to bed.

I’m supposed to do a lot of things. But I don’t.

Before I went to bed last night, I picked up the dirty clothes off the bathroom floor (and stuffed them in the already-overflowing hamper “hidden” in my closet), unloaded and re-loaded the dishwasher (emptied this morning and loaded again…..heavy sigh), and finally moved the clutter from the dining room table to a “neat stack” in another closet.

In the Best Wife for Housekeeping contest, I get a big fat F.

Thank goodness for the Housecleaning Fairy. She kicks ass and takes names.

I’m willing to bet my name is first on her list of Asses I’d Like to Kick.



  1. LOL I love this because I can totally relate! There are only so many hours in the day, right? I would also bet my name is on that list too.

  2. Ha!!! I love it! I need a fairy ASAP! I’m supposed to be cleaning right now but I saw your comment on my post and well you see where I’m at now. 😉
    I’m the queen of procrastination! I can’t wait to read more of your blog!

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