I think I have found the greatest invention in Nicole-land: CHIMP STICKS
These eating utensils are made of food-safe silicone and perfect for chopstick-illiterate people (i.e. Yours Truly) and come in a variety of colors, including the very retro violet-purple you see here. According to the package, these nifty hand-forks are safe for children age 3 and up. I fit into that category just fine, thank you very much.
Yes, I bought a set of Chimp Sticks. Yes, I used them to eat sushi tonight. And no, I did not feel weird or embarrassed or less worthy.
Admit it, you’re jealous of my uber-cool flatware. Get your own, I’m not sharing.