Stark Contrasts

Yesterday was emotional.

Today was heartbreaking, embarrassing, and soul-crushing. However, I realize more and more just how blessed beyond measure I really am.  

This morning we went to a beautiful and passionate worship service at the Methodist Church of Thor. Pastor Jacob and his congregation greeted us like royalty and treated us like honored guests. When it came time to serve Communion, we were the first to receive the Sacrament. I saw faces of children, youth, and adults filled with love, hope, and gratitude.

They didn’t just shake my hand, they kissed my cheeks. They welcomed me not only into their church, but into their hearts as well.

The road to the church was fierce with the realization that as bad as the conditions ARE, they were much worse when other teammates were here last October. The reality of the situation is this….Haiti is dirty, unsanitary, and smells really bad.

Take a look for yourself, these pictures were taken on our way to church:

 

 

 

 

The part, I think, that upsets me so about these pictures is that no one can fully understand or comprehend the VASTNESS of this reality unless you see it for yourself. The tent cities go on forever, it’s like they never end. The streets are overcrowded and filled with garbage and raw sewage. The waterways are filled with trash, yet you see children and adults bathing in them. Street vendors are selling produce and goods for their survival, these people live one day at a time. Today is all they have.

All of these thoughts were running through my mind when we arrived at our destination for lunch this afternoon. Located high atop a mountain above Port-au-Prince is Hotel Ibolele, pronounced E-boo-ley-ley. It’s a resort-style hotel and restaurant that caters specifically to Western and European clients. It’s obvious the stark contrasts between the locations I visited today.

 

My soul was crushed when I walked through the veranda and onto the courtyard and saw the view.

But then a teammate reminded me that I needed today for a physical and psychological break from the reality we have been living for nine days. Today’s lunch served as a powerful reminder of just how good my life really is….not that I ever doubted this before, but this trip has sure put everything into a new perspective.

After lunch we drove higher up on the mountain, about 3,500 feet above sea level, to an overlook point. Yes, it was beautiful. Yes, it was painful.

I’m really looking forward to returning to the worksite tomorrow. To be honest, I’m tired of sight-seeing and personifying the obvious role of American Tourist. Yes, I’m the photographer for the team and I’m the crazy lady hanging out of the tap-tap’s window in order to snap these photos you’ve been seeing here and on the team blog. But, as difficult as digging a trench and hauling five-gallon buckets of dirt, gravel, sand, and cement mix to a second-story is…..I’d rather be doing WORK than eating a salad and shrimp cocktail at a neatly dressed table with linen napkins and fine china at a resort high atop the pain and devastation of Port-au-Prince. C’mon, let’s be honest with each other: there are 1.7 million people living in PAP right now and approximately 800,000 are still displaced and living in tents.

I need to be on the project site.

I want to be on the project site.

 

Hungry For God (a review)

It’s not every day you read a book that’s so easy to read or pertinent to the times. It’s not every day you meet an author whose personality resonates joy and hospitality, and is passionate in their pursuit to know and love God.

It’s not every day you get both.

Margaret Feinberg has written a new book, Hungry For God, that is beautifully written and easy to read, yet it challenges readers to examine their spiritual appetite in a fresh, new way.

Every time I sit down to read one of Margaret’s books, it is like she’s in the room with me and we’re having a conversation about life, love, food, relationships, and the Divine. Her language is simple, yet captivating. Her tone is pleasant, yet direct and challenging. 

What does it mean to hunger for God?

I don’t know real hunger. I’m blessed beyond measure. My cabinets and pantry overflow with consumable goods. I cannot fathom the reality of so many who wake up hungry, their stomachs aching for food, and go to bed more hungry than when the day began.

Hunger reminds us that in order to have strength, we must have sustenance. When we are physically hungry, we search for food. When we are spiritually hungry, as Margaret suggests, we should seek our Creator. Our physical hunger aches can be temporarily relieved, but the hunger (relationship) between us and God should never be quenched. Rather, we should never stop growing, discovering or developing in our pursuit to know and love God.

.001 An Incredible Invitation

In Hungry For God, readers are led to listen for God’s whispers instead of loud blasts or trumpeting horns. God is real, active and engaged, but if I’m focused on the excessive noise of life or pageantry of impressing God, I’m likely to miss his whispers. I don’t need to be flamboyant to impress God, I just need to be me and genuinely seek him.

Mystery and marvel abound in Hungry For God. We don’t know when or how God speaks, but it’s transforming IF we’re willing to listen.

Imagine whispering to someone across the room. Impossible, right? Imagine trying to hear God’s whispers amongst the noise and busyness of life. If your connection to God is more like a long-distance relationship, His whispers won’t be heard.

.002 Kairos Moments

Kairos means quality over quantity. If time is a gift and meant to be savored, Feinberg inspires readers to redirect their focus, challenge their attitude, and encourage forgiveness in order for God to light the dark times and remind them they’re never alone.

Kairos Moments call us to do things and be people we would not otherwise do and be. They mark our lives by changing our perspective. Though I long for fireworks displays of God’s power and thunderous demonstrations of his presence, Kairos Moments often appear in the mundane details of everyday life. Jesus used our hair to remind us of God’s intimate knowledge of us, the lilies of the field to teach of provision, and the birds of the air to instruct us in his love.

.003 Shaped by God’s Voice

While reading Hungry For God, I was intentional about staying focused on the material. I did well until I got to the third chapter. Margaret describes a pastor who welcomes a homeless man into his church and the stench of the man is unbearable. Then, she explains a local church she often visits in Colorado, named the Scum of the Earth Church, where all welcome – the pierced, the tattooed, the Goths, the homeless, the addicts. I couldn’t help but think of the times an unpleasant odor or difficult situation has caused me to turn away from a divine opportunity. It was in these times, Margaret says, that God whisperes,

This is the smell of the world I died for.

How can you NOT be impacted by this simple, yet profound, statement?

I already have a new perspective for my mission trip to Haiti this summer. I know my comfort levels will be tested. I know I will be exhausted physically, mentally and spiritually, but I will certainly remember this:

It’s not about me.

.004 Readiness

God tucks himself into life experiences and reminds us to look for him in the everyday. When we look for God, we are hungry for God. This hunger requires us to seek him. In seeking Him, we please Him. When we please God, we strengthen our relationship.

The search for God is not about the location or even the destination. Rather, seeking God (hungering for Him) increases our dependence on him and deepens our relationship with the Divine. Seeking God is as unique as the individual, but the most important factor for all of us is CONSISTENCY.

.005 The Language of God

In Hungry For God, Feinberg describes 11 languages of God, including: Scripture, Liturgy, Visions and Dreams, Journaling, Counsel, Media, and Nature.

How does God get your attention? Which language stirs your heart and hunger to know God more?

For me, I feel God’s omnipresence most when I’m experiencing a liturgical church service and journaling. All filters are removed when I’m putting my deepest, most personal thoughts on paper.

.006 Have You Heard?

As humans, we all experience stumbling blocks and missteps. In our quest for a deeper relationship, we cannot be discouraged or stop hungering for God. In this chapter, Margaret explains some of her own missteps that, in my opinion, make her even more honest and approachable.

In the midst of failure and disappointment, we must continue to hunger for the One that reminds we are never alone. Life lessons and God Whispers are available to those that have their eyes, ears, and heart open to the opportunity.

Hungry Still

Once again, Margaret Feinberg challenges her readers’ daily schedule and priorities by asking difficult questions:

Where is God in the mundane and miniscule? Where is your focus? Where do you spend time? Have you lost your way? Have you replaced God’s plan with the world’s plan? Are you hungry for God?

Nicole & Margaret

Just as Margaret shared in Hungry For God, and said these words to me during our brief meeting, I extend this heartful prayer:

May the hunger for God stir in your heart.

A Royal Prayer

I did not watch the wedding or invest lots of time and energy dwelling into the royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton (now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge). I didn’t lose sleep to watch their pomp and pageantry in the wee hours of Friday, April 29, 2011 either.

What I can’t get untangled from the web of my mind’s thoughts is the poignant and simple prayer the royal couple wrote for their ceremony at the majestic Westminster Abbey. The prayer was read by the Right Rev. Richard Charters, Lord Bishop of London, during his sermon:

God our Father, we thank you for our families; for the love that we share and for the joy of our marriage.

In the busyness of each day keep our eyes fixed on what is real and important in life and help us to be generous with our time and love and energy.

Strengthened by our union help us to serve and comfort those who suffer. We ask this in the Spirit of Jesus Christ. Amen.

I think this is one of the best compositions ever.

I think William and Kate’s words are beautiful, timeless, and filled with thoughtfulness for the human race. I’m guilty of allowing the busyness of life to get in the way of the things (people) that matter most to me. As I’m preparing for the mission trip to Haiti in August, the ways I share my love and consume my time and energy are becoming painfully obvious.

My hope – in Haiti and everywhere I go – is that I will love, comfort, serve, and nurture those that suffer with the blessings I’ve been given while on this earth. 

to whom much is given, much is required — Luke 12:48 

This is my prayer. What’s yours?